On Decisions

"The man who knows how to enjoy his existence as he ought has attained to an absolute perfection, like that of the gods. We seek another conditions because we do not understand the proper use of our own, and go out of ourselves because we do not know what is within us" (Montaigne Essays, 406).

I have always struggled with indecisiveness. I fear that if I am not making the right decision then I am making the wrong one, and so I weigh my options delicately on their scales. But their weights fluctuate, and the problem never seems to get easier. This year for the new year I decided that I no longer want to be that person who misses the moment simply because she couldn't decide or, even worse, because she was afraid. Sometimes I blind myself to my own intuition and I know its dangerous and for that reason I'm stopping.

Perhaps what makes a decision "right" or "wrong" isn't the fact that it avoids a situation, but rather that you chose it, you decided, you ran with it, and you made it work. I can envision myself in multiple futures and I don't think any of them are wrong, they're probably all right actually. At the same time, sometimes you just know that one decision will temporarily satiate you, while the other will lead you to something so much bigger than just a moments satisfaction. I think that was the most important lesson for me to learn, sometimes I will have to ignore my impulsiveness and make the choice that takes me one step closer to where I want to be.